An epic personal growth myth that kills people’s dreams

Many moons ago I was chatting with a good-natured entrepreneur at a social event. He was a kind fellow who had ambition to spare. We had a great discussion and I enjoyed his company immensely.

However, he struggled with an undiagnosed, systemic problem.

And it was ultimately keeping him from the life he wanted to create.

Since we weren’t in a coaching relationship or setting, it wouldn’t have been appropriate – or felt right – to raise the point with him.

But it was clear to me that my new acquaintance had fallen prey to an insidious myth that kills dreams the world over.

What was his underlying ideation?

If I just knew exactly what to do, I could get to where I want to go.

On the surface, this makes perfect sense.

When you have an ambitious person who’s not allergic to work, and knows the steps necessary to reach their dream, they’ll put in the effort and get where they want to go.

Here’s the problem…

In the course of our stimulating conversation, it became apparent that he actually did know exactly what to do. He was trying to create a result (in short: accelerate the growth of his new business) that is absolutely obtainable for someone like him, and I’ve watched – and helped – many people like him do it before.

But he hadn’t executed against the knowledge he demonstrated to me he already had.

Why not?

Because his deep-seated desires and needs were in conflict with one another.

So, he’d go out and will himself to do the work, but something would always sideline him, and he’d end up either backing down or trying a “new” approach.

In other words, he did know what to do (even though he kept saying he didn’t), and yet, he kept tripping over himself whenever he was just starting to gain some momentum.

Knowing what to do and being able to consistently execute are two very different things.

The issue for most of us isn’t knowing. It’s getting ourselves to consistently do what we know we need to do.

And that’s impossible when we have psychological programming (oftentimes beneath our conscious awareness) that sits in stark contrast to the efforts we must undertake to create the results we're after.

A better question than “What do I need to do?” is “Why am I not doing what I know I need to do?”

Let that last line really sink in.

Ask yourself the latter question and see what comes up for you…

Because will power is rarely the answer to moving ahead when you’re stuck.

It’s creating alignment between your aspirations and your psychology that’s key.

When you have that alignment, and you combine it with a great work ethic and a clear vision, there’s nothing that can stop you in the long-run.

If something external does stop you in the short-term, it will be a temporary blip because you’ll simply make the necessary course corrections and go again until you get it right.

Alignment is everything, my friend.

Just like taking a kink out of a hose allows the water to flow.

“Work out the kinks” as they say.

And you’ll be well on your way.

And if you need help today…

Working with a – dare I say – “poetic” coach will pay you back in spades.

Beholdeth thou my magical link: https://www.bergfordperformance.com/coaching

– Brian Bergford